By Shannon Mandel
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Why Resilience Matters in Childhood Development
As a Neuroscience Coach and Parenting Empowerment Advocate, I often hear parents ask, “How do I raise a child who can thrive, even when life gets tough?” The answer lies in two powerful, interconnected concepts: Resilience and a Growth Mindset. Both play a critical role in shaping how our children navigate challenges, setbacks, and successes.
Let’s explore why these traits are essential and, more importantly, how you can cultivate them in your home.
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What Is Resilience and Why Is It So Important?
Resilience is often described as the ability to “bounce back” after adversity, but in reality, it’s so much more. It’s the internal strength that allows us to adapt, persevere, and learn from life’s inevitable challenges. In children, resilience is the foundation for emotional intelligence, problem-solving, and confidence.
When children develop resilience, they’re better equipped to handle everyday stressors—like disagreements with friends, poor test results, or not making the sports team. Resilience also protects them against the mental health risks that can come from chronic stress or anxiety.
But resilience doesn’t just appear on its own. It’s something we, as parents, can actively nurture. One of the most effective ways to do that is by fostering a growth mindset.
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Growth Mindset vs Fixed Mindset
In her groundbreaking research, psychologist Carol Dweck identified two mindsets that shape how people approach learning and challenges: the growth mindset and the fixed mindset.
Fixed Mindset: Children with a fixed mindset believe that their abilities, intelligence, and talents are set in stone. They might think, “I’m just not good at math” or “I’ll never be good at sports.” This mindset leads to a fear of failure, avoidance of challenges, and a tendency to give up easily.
Growth Mindset: In contrast, children with a growth mindset understand that abilities can be developed through effort, practice, and learning. They embrace challenges, view mistakes as opportunities to grow, and persist even when things get tough.
The difference between these two mindsets is monumental. A fixed mindset limits potential, while a growth mindset unlocks it. And here’s the exciting part: a growth mindset can be taught!
How to Foster a Growth Mindset at Home
Fostering a growth mindset doesn’t require a complete overhaul of your parenting style. It starts with small, intentional shifts in how you communicate with your child.
Praise Effort, Not Outcomes
It’s tempting to praise your child’s achievements—like getting an A on a test or scoring a goal in soccer—but focusing solely on results reinforces a fixed mindset. Instead, praise their effort, perseverance, and problem-solving process. For example:
- “I’m so proud of how hard you studied for that test!”
- “I noticed you kept practicing even when it was tricky—well done!”
Reframe Mistakes as Learning Opportunities
When your child makes a mistake, resist the urge to rescue them or criticize. Instead, help them reflect on what they learned and how they can approach things differently next time. Ask questions like:
- “What did you learn from this experience?”
- “What could you try differently next time?”
Model a Growth Mindset Yourself
Children absorb far more from what we do than what we say. Share your own challenges and how you’re working to overcome them. For example:
- “I’m finding this project at work really difficult, but I’m breaking it down into smaller steps and asking for help when I need it.”
Encourage Curiosity and Risk-Taking
Create an environment where it’s safe to try new things, even if they don’t succeed right away. Celebrate curiosity and experimentation, and remind your child that failure is a natural part of the learning process.
The Connection Between Resilience and a Growth Mindset
When we help our children develop a growth mindset, we’re simultaneously building their resilience. Why? Resilient children understand that setbacks are temporary and that they have the power to grow, adapt, and overcome challenges.
They become less afraid of failure because they know it’s not the end of the story—it’s just one chapter in their journey of learning and self-discovery. And this belief in their ability to grow is what gives them the courage to keep going, even when things feel hard.
Your Role as a Parent
Remember, you don’t have to be perfect to raise resilient, growth-minded children. It’s about showing up, modeling these skills, and creating an environment where your child feels safe to explore, fail, learn, and grow.
With every conversation, every mistake reframed, and every effort praised, you’re planting the seeds of resilience and a growth mindset—and those seeds will grow into something extraordinary.
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Shannon mandel
- B. Soc.Sci Psychology (UCT)
- BA Honours in Clinical Psychology (Stellenbosch University)
- NLP Practitioner
- NLP Hypnotherapy Practitioner
- Rapid Transformational Practitioner (Marisa Peer Method)
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